Bella Vista Church of Christ

04/06/2020

Devotional – 2

In Clinical Pastoral Education Courses…there’s a section on what’s called Anticipatory Grief… A state where we become… Worried… Anxious… Concerned…About something that has yet to happen and may or may not occur… A grief reaction that occurs before an impending loss.

• Most often this occurs in cases where we or a family member are terminally ill.

• Or maybe a storm is coming and we're in eminent danger.

Most studies indicate that Anticipatory Grief does not take the place of Post-Grief…But only adds to the overall grieving process.

However there are no hard fast rules that apply here.

Like Post-Grief… Anticipatory Grief… Is different for each person.

Anticipatory Grief often places us in a state of hyper-alertness.

In short… We become seriously afraid.

This becomes… Mentally… Emotionally… Spiritually… and Physically… exhausting.

Anticipatory Grief is a very personal experience in our current Covid-19 situation… It occurs when we imagine future scenarios… if we should contact the virus.

With COVID-19… We suffer Anticipatory Grief…

• Because we have plans that cannot be carried out…

• We suffer because of the loss of normalcy…

• Maybe for us it’s a financial loss…

• The loss of… Fellowship… Togetherness….One-anotherness…

• We suffer because our future is uncertain.

It just goes on-and-on.

The Questions becomes…

How do we manage Anticipatory Grief?...

• Accept the truth of what’s going on around us…Denial is failure!!

• Accept that our… Concern… Worry… Fear… Grief… Is normal.

• Accept we are not alone.

• Change what we feed upon… Don’t be consumed with the bad news.. Determine to think upon things positive.

Jesus said,… Don’t let your heart be troubled… Have faith in Me and the Father… Trust us!...

Think about the Fatherhood of God…

Think about the fact that this is not all there is to life…

Consider Heaven…

Think about My and The Father’s Love for you.

Paul encouraged… Fill your mind with thoughts that are… True… Righteous… Noble… Pure…Lovely… Admiral… Excellent… Things praiseworthy.

Both Jesus and Paul are insisting that we have the ability to control our thoughts.

• Live in the present. Anticipatory Grief is just that anticipating the worst that may or may not happen.

Enjoy the fact that we are not currently sick… Thank God for that!

Live in Love… Count our Blessings… Spring is happening… God’s love is all about us.

Talk to family and friends… See God on the face of your brother.

Remember what love can and will do for us… “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, Love is not proud. Is not rude… Love is not self-seeking… It is not easily angered… Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects… Always trusts… Always hopes… Always perseveres... Love never fails.

Focus on what we can control… Let go of what we cannot!

We can wash our hands…Stay away from the sick and susceptible areas… Maintain social distancing… Use anti-bacterial agents.

Be compassionate. Anticipatory Grief wears us down.

Worry… Fear… Anxiety… Cause us to become impatient with others.

Tempers become short…Especially as families spend more and more time together.

• Make an effort to control our own temper…

• Make an effort to be understanding of those who offend us or are upset with us.

Be patient… Don’t hold another’s impatience with us against them... Their grief may be outstretching ours.

Interesting that… years ago… 1969… Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

authored the book “On Death And Dying.”

She gave us five stages of Grief that have been vigorously debated…

But have a certain validity… that speaks to our current crisis…

First… There’s Denial. Subconsciously we think we can avoid the sadness of any future event… By saying…

• I am OK…

• I will not get sick…

• My immune system is strong…

• I’m young.

In a tragedy, it’s easy to see ourselves as a survivor… Even if there is only one, we see it as being us.

We see denial today in those who irresponsibly say… The whole world is making too much of this… It won’t affect me… Ignore it and it’ll go away.

Anger. This pandemic has robbed us of… Jobs… Finances… Togetherness… Future Plans… Religious activities… Fun events like… Eating out… Sports… Concerts… Movies Travel… Etc…On-and-on we could go… Lots of things to become angry about.

Ross says it’s easy to become angry because… It is the path of least resistance.

Don’t take this path!! It eats away at our total well-being.

Paul says… Be angry… But don’t let it lead to sin. Control it by placing a time limit on your anger… Deal with it before nightfall.

Bargaining. This is a very normal step in the Grief Process. We bargain with God, promising something in return for His good favor…

• I’ll be more faithful in church attendance if you’ll remove this diagnosis.

• I’ll do this or that if You will keep me safe from Covid-19…

• Anticipatory Grief toward this crisis says… I’ll follow all the rules if you’ll protect me.

Let’s stop bargaining and Listen to God’s promises to us… Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you!... I will not leave you… I will be with you always… Come unto Me all you who are burdened for I am meek and lowly in heart and you shall find rest for your soul.

Sadness. We become… Sad… Depressed… Becauseof our losses… Whatever they may be.

We may be depressed for simple or serious things like our…

• Loss of plans…

• Loss of freedom…

• Maybe sickness…

• Death of a friend or family member.

What we must be careful is that our sadness does not turn into depression…Especially long-term depression.

Again…

• Good thoughts can help…

• Counting our blessings help…

• Focusing on the love of God… Family…and Friends… HELP!.

Paul has some words of comfort… Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Acceptance. Acceptance is not saying… I’m over this and don’t even think about it anymore.

Acceptance is agreeing with oneself… That…

• This pandemic is real…

• But living by the advisories…

• With proper medical treatment…

• With the help of… God… Family… Friends… We’ll get thorough this together.

We will… weather the storm… win the war… Overcome.

• Acceptance becomes the point when we see some blue sky on the horizon.

• Acceptance is Not healing… But the beginning of healing.

Let’s close these thoughts by noting that… There is no perfect way to face our current situation… No perfect way to grieve.

• Grief is a very personal emotion.

• Everybody handles it differently.

Some will process their grief by the Kubler-Ross numbers… While others will skip or rearrange the order completely.

The important thing is this… That we process our grief… Making sure we don’t become stuck in one or more of these steps.

Remember…

• Live by the rules…

• Pray for god’s help…

• ask a friend or counselor for assistance…

• Reach out and touch the needs of others.

Let’s pray together

Father God… Our hope is in You…We acknowledge Your… Omnipotent… Transcendent… Sovereign… Nature.

We lift our prayers to You for our Health Care Professionals who are fighting this global battle. We pray for every individual affected… That You will…

• ease their suffering…

• enable their recovery.

Father we pray for every grieving individual who has lost loved ones and friends.

We pray for our governmental officials…

• Protect them…

• Give them wisdom.

We pray for our… Preachers….Pastors… PriestS… And Ministry leaders… As they serve others.

We ask you Lord to…

• Renew our strength and our hope…

• Enhance our faith…

• Give us a revival in this weary time.

In the name of Jesus… Amen!